'I'm not ashamed' - Ellison on mental health and playing at 47

"I had four touches and I fouled Paul Scholes," says Kevin Ellison about his one and only Premier League appearance for Leicester City at Manchester United in 2001. The forward had been rejected by his hometown team Liverpool and was working on a building site as well as delivering furniture, while playing for non-league Altrincham, before landing a dream £50,000 move to Leicester 25 years ago. A month later Ellison, then aged 22, was sharing a pitch with Roy Keane, Ole Gunnar-Solskjaer and Scholes after being sent on as an 84th-minute substitute at Old Trafford. Leicester lost 2-0. Ellison never played in the Premier League again. A few years later depression took over as he struggled with family problems, while he had gone from signing a two-and-a-half-year contract with the Foxes to dropping back down the leagues and worrying about finances. "The darkest moment was when I was driving on the M6," Ellison recalls. "I remember it like it was yesterday. My thoughts back then were: 'would people's lives around me be better if I smashed my car into the central reservation at 100mph?' That's how deep it got. "Speaking out to those around me and seeking help [counselling] is the only way I got through those dark clouds that came over me. I'm grateful for what I've been through as it's opened my eyes to a lot of things in life." Now aged 47, Ellison is healthier and happier. Incredibly, he is still playing for Cheshire-based non-league club Vauxhall Motors, and will become one of the oldest players to feature in the FA Cup if he appears against Yorkshire side Thackley in the preliminary round on Saturday (15:00 BST). "Everyone says I should be in a nursing home," laughs Ellison, who has played in all top eight tiers of English football and is one of the few players to reach the 1,000-game milestone in a memorable career spanning 29 years and 18 different clubs. "I've lost count, if I'm honest, on the exact number of games I've played. But I've still got that fire in my belly and I still get a little bit nervous before games. "I'm still here, playing at 47. I'm grateful for that." If you have been affected by issues raised in this article, there is information and support available on broadcaster Action Line. From delivering beds to Premier League Ellison grew up in the suburb of Anfield, about a five-minute walk from Liverpool's famous ground. He represented Liverpool schoolboys as a youngster, as well as playing for the club's centre of excellence alongside Michael Owen and Steven Gerrard. As a child, he would walk the short distance to Liverpool's ground on matchdays and stand outside the Kop, waiting for stewards to open the gates 20 minutes from the end of games to allow fans looking to make an early getaway to leave. "While they were leaving, I'd run into the ground and catch the end of the match," says Ellison. "I used to love watching John Barnes and Ian Rush." He dreamed of playing for the Reds but while Owen and Gerrard were kept on, Ellison was let go at the age of 15. "I remember receiving the letter from Liverpool," he recalls. "It just said: 'thanks for all your effort over the last seven years and good luck in the future.' "It was heartbreaking, because my first thought was 'that's it, I'm never going to make it as a footballer now'. "My mum said: 'roll your sleeves up, lad. Keep working hard and your chance will come'. It's like most things in life; you only get out what you put in, and I never gave up when I was 15. "That rejection spurred me on and made me want to prove to people that I was good enough to become a professional one day." After a spell in Sunday League football, Ellison got a break at Southport, who were then playing in the fifth tier under Ronnie Moore. Aged 18, he made his debut off the bench in a 1-0 home defeat by Telford in March 1997. Ellison played a further three times before the end of the season and remembers receiving £65 in expenses. Moves to Chorley and then Conwy United in the League of Wales followed before he started getting noticed for the amount of goals he was scoring at Altrincham - 23 in 54 league games. "I learned the hard way," Ellison adds. "I was playing part-time and working full-time on a building site and delivering furniture - three-piece suites, beds, wardrobes, the lot." Then, in 2001, came a potentially life-changing move to Leicester, who had won the League Cup the season before under Martin O'Neill. "They offered me £650-a-week and my age